Sense Things
by Lindira
Summary: At the Exalted Council, Aeric and Dorian are finally reunited after nearly two years apart. But the reunion is far different from what Aeric expected. (Trespasser DLC spoilers; Dorian x Lavellan)


A/N: Spoilers for the Trespasser DLC. Mostly written to help me deal with my feelings about that initial scene with a Tevinter-encouraged Dorian.

Added Note: If you've read this before, I changed a line in this fic regarding how long it's been since Dorian and Aeric have seen each other. I wrote this shortly after finishing Trespasser, so I hadn't worked out how "The Lift Away" fit into the new canon. This line has been updated to reflect the adjusted timeline.

* * *

"Sense Things"

ooo

A stone was forming in the pit of Aeric's stomach. It began with Dorian's greeting.

"Inquisitor! How long has it been?" The formal title rolled from Dorian's lips easily, as if they were strangers, and not lovers. As if he were only the Tevinter ambassador, and Aeric only the leader of the Inquisition. "Don't actually tell me. I despise feeling old. It's good to see you, my friend."

Aeric knew that here, each of them acting in an official and political capacity, displays of affection wouldn't be appropriate, but he could hardly be bothered to care. He'd longed for this moment, his heart pounding and his face hot with anticipation of seeing Dorian again, at last. As he leaned in to touch Dorian's hand - not even a kiss… just a touch, something to ground him in this moment and make it real - Dorian made a gesture with his hands, waving airily with flippant disregard.

Aeric frowned. "'Friend'?" he repeated. "What's wrong?"

The smile on Dorian's face wavered. It was _that_ smile, the one Dorian wore as a mask sometimes. The one that wasn't real. "Absolutely nothing! Whatever could be wrong? I'm here, you're here, and there's fine Orlesian wine flowing like fountains. It's not even terribly cold. A fine day for politics."

"Is that what we're doing right now?" Aeric asked, proud of himself for keeping his tone even. "Politics? Dorian, I haven't seen you in nearly eight months. And that was only a visit."

Dorian's smile faltered again. "I know, I… We'll have a proper reunion later, yes?" Something over Aeric's shoulder caught Dorian's eye. He seemed almost relieved. "For now, it would appear the Orlesian ambassador is eager for your attention. Come find me when you're finished."

Aeric turned to catch his arm as he tried to walk past. "I don't care about him, Dorian. Please, tell me what's going on."

"Soon, _amatus_ ," Dorian whispered, his eyes downturned. He slipped from Aeric's grasp and left him alone with Duke Montfort.

What was going on?

When Aeric found him sometime later, drinking with a few of the others, he spotted the sorrowful look that Dorian cast his way. The stone rolled in Aeric's stomach again. Dorian glared at Varric, who was in the middle of a grand speech, congratulating Dorian on joining the Magisterium.

Aeric stilled, eyes searching the mage's face for an explanation. As Dorian stared back at him, guilt and melancholy competing for dominance of his expression, the others quietly shuffled away, leaving them alone to talk.

Aeric hated this feeling, this obstruction between the two of them that shouldn't have been there. The letters they had exchanged religiously over the past two years had been heartfelt and loving, open in a way Dorian had not often dared to be in person. Aeric had thought they were doing fine. More than fine. The excitement in Dorian's last letter before leaving Minrathous echoed Aeric's own, and he had spent the past two weeks thinking of little else but the feel of Dorian in his arms at last.

Now, knowing that Dorian had not only kept his impending departure a secret from him, but told everyone else before him… Bile rose in the back of Aeric's throat. It was hard to look his lover in the eye.

As Dorian explained, the jovial tone of his voice stung, even though Aeric knew full well that Dorian joked to hide the pain of losing his father and of being separated again so soon. The better part of two years spent aching for Dorian, craving his presence more than any hunger he had ever suffered… not even a night or an afternoon or an hour to celebrate their reunion…

And already, Dorian was leaving again.

The mage kissed him, saying he loved him, an admission only heard aloud once before now. Dorian said it so casually, but Aeric knew how difficult it still was for him to say it. Creators damn this man, but Aeric had missed him so. He was hurt and angry, but he returned the kiss with a fierce desperation, unable to deny himself whatever small touch he could have from Dorian, no matter what he felt.

Yet when Aeric pulled away, he felt stiff and uncertain. Heat rose to his eyes and he had to look away again. "I just… I don't understand why I can't go with you this time. You didn't want me to go before, but I had obligations to fulfill here. I understood." When Aeric could finally meet Dorian's eyes, the sorrowful expression was back in his lover's face again. Aeric could feel cracks forming in his own heart, an almost physical pain in his chest. "But the Inquisition is likely to be disbanded after the Council. I'll have nothing to keep me here. Why couldn't I accompany you?"

" _Amatus_ …" Dorian said softly, reaching for Aeric's hand. "I said I was sorry. I don't know what more you want from me."

It was Aeric's turn to take his hand away. "What I have always wanted, Dorian. To join you in Tevinter, so we can finally be together." He adopted his old, comfortable scowl. "Never mind. I… I have to prepare for the Exalted Council. I'll see you in there, _Ambassador_."

Aeric stalked past Dorian towards the gardens. Yet instead of going to the Palace entrance, he went in search of Sera, as he often did when he was upset nowadays. And when she got that mischievous glint in her eyes, Aeric didn't hesitate to suggest they play pranks. Normally, he wouldn't have even considered it, but right now, he seemed to be in the perfect mood to throw pies at some Orlesians.

As he and Sera sat beside a fountain later, cleaning pastry cream from their faces, Aeric's smile fell and Sera's laughter stilled as the Mark flared. Aeric winced, his very bones feeling as if they burned and tore at his flesh.

"It's gettin' worse, innit?" Sera said in a quiet voice. "That glowy thing it does. You've been tryin' to hide it with gloves and whatever, but the rest of us aren't stupid. Well, some of the others. Anyway, _I_ know it bothers you."

"It's… probably nothing," Aeric muttered, though he didn't believe his own words. The pain had been getting steadily worse ever since he closed the last of the rifts around Southern Thedas several months ago.

Sera blew out her cheeks in a loud raspberry. "Nothing, my arse. You make that face now, when it glows. You didn't do that before. I'm bettin' it hurts a lot more, and a lot more often than you let on. Because you're you and don't like people worryin'."

Aeric shrugged, swiping the last of the cream from his brow.

"Fine," Sera said with a huff. "But if it gets worse, you… I dunno… get it looked over. Something."

They were silent for a moment, dipping their handkerchiefs into the fountain water to wash the stickiness from their faces. After a few minutes, Sera nudged Aeric with an elbow. "Hey. Good times, yeah? With the pies? Right, Viney?"

His smile returning, Aeric nodded.

"You all right, then? After stupid ol' Tevinter Mustache over there, not tellin' you first, of all people." Sera cocked her head to one side as she leaned over her knees, apparently unconcerned about the large dollop of cream still on her nose. "He's got some nerve. If he weren't my friend, he'd have an arrow up his arse already. If you don't get there first. With an arrow or, you know, your _arrow_." She laughed.

Aeric shook his head at her joke, but he had gotten used to ignoring Sera's occasional lewd humor. "He's not very good with emotional things," he said with a sigh.

Sera scoffed. "Is he not good with sense things, too, then? Way I figure, anybody with sense knows, you tell your person first. You got a person - one you say you love - and you've news? Bad news, good news, whatever. Anybody with sense knows you tell your person first. Dorian's a right bastard, not telling you."

"He is," Aeric said ruefully, smiling in a way that didn't touch his lips. "He's still _my_ 'right bastard', though." He ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what I'm going to do. These past couple years have been hard enough. And he doesn't want me to come with him. Again."

"Nutter," Sera muttered, her face falling. "If you went with him, you'd have all the shite magisters and creepy magic gone from stupid Tevinter in a year. Two, if you take your time."

Aeric chuckled. "Maybe." He took a deep breath and sighed again. "I'm not sure I can handle this separation for much longer, to be honest."

"You'll make it right, yeah?" Sera said, leaning back and kicking her feet. "You two, disgusting how lovey you are."

"We are," Aeric replied. He was about to smile when he recalled Dorian's attitude earlier. Frowning, he amended, "Or, rather, we were. I don't know what's going on now." After a glance at the sky, he gave a good-natured groan. "But all that will have to wait until after this Exalted Council. I expect to be thoroughly scolded for having saved the world."

"Stupid Orlais and Ferelden and their prissy nobs," Sera spat. "Leave their bit to rot next time."

"I'll keep that in mind," Aeric said, smiling a little as he rose to his feet. "And, thank you, Sera. I do feel better."

"Pfft, go on, you." She waved her hands at him, shooing him away and grinning.

Aeric got up and walked away towards the palace, heart still heavy, but his spirit lighter, feeling more like himself than he had since arriving at the Winter Palace. The prospect of an extended long-distance relationship with Dorian still weighed on his mind, but for now, his final duties as Inquisitor awaited him.

ooo

Aeric stood in front of the eluvian, qunari blood still fresh on the stones beneath his feet. He waited for his companions to join him as he stared curiously into the swirling blue light of the mirror's portal.

"Aeric…" Dorian's voice came hesitantly behind him.

Aeric turned and smiled sadly. " _Ma'nehn_ …"

Dorian returned the smile, though his expression was still pained and unsure. "Glad to hear I'm still that."

"Always." Aeric paused, reaching for Dorian's hand. This time, he let Aeric take it. "I'm sorry for walking off earlier. I was upset, and I know you're going through a lot right now. Your father having just died and all."

Dorian shook his head. "No, I should apologize. That was no way to learn the news, and I'll not make excuses for it. It was unfair to you. I'm sorry." He looked down at their linked hands. "Not exactly the reunion you were so looking forward to, is it? I'll make it up to you _, amatus_. Somehow."

Aeric lifted Dorian's chin with a finger and smiled. "You'd better." He leaned in for a kiss, and Dorian met his lips, the act more sweet than bitter. So much better than the last, with promises of need-filled, desperate coupling held within each caress of their lips and swipe of their tongues. Aeric prayed for this moment - any moment - with Dorian to last longer. By minutes, by hours, by an eternity.

When they parted, hearing the others just outside the door, Dorian's face was downturned and mournful. "I'm not going to miss you at all, damn it," he declared, the effect of his words marred by the quavering notes in his voice. "Not even a little."

"I know," Aeric murmured, his heart aching even as he smiled. "And I'll miss you, as always." He held Dorian close, breathing in his subtle scent of musk and vanilla. It was hard for Aeric to believe he would only have a few short days of this. These past two years of separation had been so painful, for both of them. How would he be able to stand any more of it? Aeric still held Dorian tightly, even after Blackwall and Sera joined them. "We'll talk more on it later. For now, let's enjoy what time we have together, hm?"

Dorian gave a little smile as Aeric finally released him. "I could think of a few things I'd rather be doing than uncovering a sinister qunari plot, _amatus_."

Aeric chuckled. "Duty calls, unfortunately."

"Doesn't it always?" Dorian replied, his smile growing. It was genuine now - real, warm. The smile Aeric had loved and missed so dearly. "Onward, then."


End file.
